Happy Thought

Well, you see, you are a happy thought. And you have become one without knowing it. You are clueless. And I shall keep it that way.

Shit Happens

There's no such thing as perfect. No matter how hard you try to master a certain something, even if you are so good at it, there will always be flaws. Flaws that are way beyond your control. Flaws that can break you or haunt you.

Here's the thing... sometimes, when you (always) least expect it, shit happens. And most of the time, the only way you can remedy the situation is through that one solution you do not want to even consider. It's a shame. It's a predicament.

Some moments ago, shit happened. It literally did.

I Love You, Maybe

I love you
and hush...
I know, I am doomed.

You don't have to do anything.
Just move.
In or away,
I won't ask you. I don't want to know.

Perhaps, just smile.
Or truthfully, touch my hand.

I love you,
and
maybe
tomorrow I
will miss
loving you.

the F word

Just because I don't talk

doesn't mean I don't care.

You simply need to hear me when I am most silent. You simply need to see through me so you'd understand. 

I hear you. You don't have to repeat yourself. I get your point. I feel you.

I just want to become, I just want to live. Now, give me a chance. He is not worth it.

Just because I don't matter now

doesn't mean I don't exist.

Gusto

I want to
swim in your head,
rise from
your heart....

And leave.

Starbucks v2

Nananahimik ako
nakaupo sa Starbucks
pahigop-higop ng aking
kape, nagmamatyag,
nagpapalipas oras.

Bumukas ang pinto. At
hayan ka, kasama sya.
Nakapaldang plantsado,
maiksi at ang
kanyang blusa- hapit,
nakayakap
sa malusog nyang dibdib.
Ang buhok nya makintab.
Ang muka nakapinta.

Ako, nandito. Basa sa ulan at
natuyo sa lamig ng Starbucks.
Malagkit
ang pakiramdam ng balat.
Yudyod ang kwelyo ng
t-shirt,
ang sneakers ko puno ng
putik at pantalon ko'y butas...
Ang lamig nanunuot na
naman....

Something Else

I was going through some changes lately and I did not know that at this certain age, I could be such a novice... and almost too naive. I've always thought that because I have a very rich and eventful past, I could always go cruising without the caution...but no. I surprised myself. Big time.

Life is THE unexpected gift. It constantly gives you presents that you do not even ask for. And it's just a matter of how you open your nicely wrapped box, take it as you see it and then... decide if you want to keep it.

Yesterday, I had to ring an amigo not because I missed my chum, but I wanted to feel if there was an air of friendliness in something that started way too friendly. It was a beautiful tie. And it still is. We kind of form a fellowship of two crazy people whose control over ONE great circumstance lacked equilibrium. My scale tilted towards the challenging logic of feeling while my friend's... the provocative feeling of the rationale. And we both are scales.

It shook me. For a moment I was asking why I slipped. I did not want more. I did not yearn for a fairy tale because the bond was more than enough reality for me. And then I realized: it's just me. It's still me. A rookie almost pretending to be an expert, a seasoned someone.

I had to move on. I have to continue walking with my amigo - the one person who does not know that what he does is exactly what I want done.

If I survived my frankness, then I can survive this. And I realize: it's still me. It's just me. You can never tell. You can never assume.