I was going through some changes lately and I did not know that at this certain age, I could be such a novice... and almost too naive. I've always thought that because I have a very rich and eventful past, I could always go cruising without the caution...but no. I surprised myself. Big time.
Life is THE unexpected gift. It constantly gives you presents that you do not even ask for. And it's just a matter of how you open your nicely wrapped box, take it as you see it and then... decide if you want to keep it.
Yesterday, I had to ring an amigo not because I missed my chum, but I wanted to feel if there was an air of friendliness in something that started way too friendly. It was a beautiful tie. And it still is. We kind of form a fellowship of two crazy people whose control over ONE great circumstance lacked equilibrium. My scale tilted towards the challenging logic of feeling while my friend's... the provocative feeling of the rationale. And we both are scales.
It shook me. For a moment I was asking why I slipped. I did not want more. I did not yearn for a fairy tale because the bond was more than enough reality for me. And then I realized: it's just me. It's still me. A rookie almost pretending to be an expert, a seasoned someone.
I had to move on. I have to continue walking with my amigo - the one person who does not know that what he does is exactly what I want done.
If I survived my frankness, then I can survive this. And I realize: it's still me. It's just me. You can never tell. You can never assume.
